Khatira on [ the Mother of the Believers, Umm Ḥabībah ]

Occasion: Transcription of a khatira delivered on June 18, 2021 Source: A transcription of a video khatira by Dr. Ahmed Abouseif — Watch the original video on YouTube

Today in the Friday khutbah he told us about an incident that happened with the Mother of the Believers Ramlah bint Abī Sufyān, Umm Ḥabībah (may Allah be pleased with her), and the incident took place inside the Prophet's household. Some may imagine that it is an ordinary incident that does not deserve all this comment, but we are dealing with small incidents of daily life that can produce a big problem which one would not imagine could arise from words this simple.

The Supplication That Can Ruin a Home or Teach It

Take an example: a woman supplicates Allah to bless her in the life of her husband, the life of her father and the life of her brother. And here comes the husband's assessment of the situation. There are minds that say that a woman has no right to mention her family in the presence of her husband: "Are you putting me on a par with your brother? Are you putting me on a par with your father?" And on this basis a big problem occurs in the home, and both parties come out of the exchange with a great loss, a psychological loss and a deep wound in the mind and soul.

And there is another mind that comprehends a person's need for all sides, and respects the bond of kinship and the affection between the woman and her family, so no mention or comment comes from it. And the mindset before which we stand is the mindset of the Prophet ﷺ, for he does not just let the situation pass, but teaches through it. So he ﷺ said to his wife, in the meaning of what is narrated: You have asked Allah for numbered days, fixed terms and apportioned provisions.^[1]

These three dimensions to which the Prophet ﷺ pointed treat the soul of the one asking before determining the type of answer. It is as though he, upon him be prayers and peace, is saying: what is behind the question? Why did the woman make this supplication? Why did she say: O Allah, let me enjoy my husband the Messenger of Allah, my father Abū Sufyān and my brother Muʿāwiyah? What is the reason behind this supplication? So he comes with a very simple answer. The first possibility is fear of tomorrow, and the second possibility is the feeling of personal enjoyment arising in the soul at having around her a clan unlike the clan of other people. Umm Ḥabībah (may Allah be pleased with her) takes pride in people unlike other people: she carried all the honor when she was linked to the Messenger of Allah as a husband, she carried it when she was linked to Abū Sufyān as a father, and she carried it when she was linked to Muʿāwiyah as a brother. So perhaps it was the feeling of pride, and the feeling before her own soul of gratitude to Allah, glory be to Him, the Most High, for the great blessing she was in. And perhaps it was fear of tomorrow. And then the Prophet ﷺ lays down landmarks that change concepts and replace them in the mind.

Numbered Days

Which concepts? That life as a whole is three things: a fixed term, a numbered day, and apportioned provision.

The numbered days we live today; today is Friday, yesterday was Thursday, and tomorrow is Saturday. Days that follow one another upon people whether people exist or do not exist. This place will, God willing, have other people come to it after ten years, while the walls stay as they are, the miḥrāb stays where it is, the columns bear the same ceiling, and the carpet on which people prostrate may be replaced, but the features of the situation are in themselves the same. The days, whose sun rises at the start of the day and sets at its end, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, were the very same, in the same order and repetition, when Ādam was, when Ibrāhīm was, when the Prophet ﷺ was, and until the Day of Resurrection the days remain with their features. And what remains as the difference between these days is what we make and add to them. The days add nothing to people, but it is we who add to the days.

For example, I personally feel a kind of slackness in the call, in work, and in responding to events from the last Ramadan until now; I have not added much to the days. But did the days stop because I am slack? No, they continued and passed over all people. And at the very same moments they passed over another person who feels activity, drive, strength, vitality and an extraordinary energy. And the same days passed over a sick man in his bed. We have some slackness, but we still go to the mosques and perform the prayers and give some lectures; "the car is being pushed along but it is moving." And another person is sick in bed and nothing of him has moved, and another whose end of life Allah decreed, so he died, and another is traveling or being tortured. So the days pass over people equally, and the difference among them is what we make of them. The difference between creatures is what they add to the days.

If we asked any one of us: where were you last Friday? He would say: I was in a different place, and today in a different place. But Friday is Friday, it passed with its number of hours, moments and times. And more important than that, you see the day pass over a person who is in utmost happiness, and pass over another who is sad and depressed, finding nothing to do, and pass over one who is setting out on his journey and another in the depths of his prison. So what do we make of the days?

The Prophet ﷺ wanted to reshape the concepts in Umm Ḥabībah's mind, teaching the whole ummah. So he told us about numbered days that the Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him, the Most High, counted over the course of time and across life, and according to the measure of the deeds of creation. That is why the Prophet ﷺ mentioned fixed terms, and who fixed these terms? Allah, glory be to Him, the Most High.

The Race Against Time

And among people you see one who races against time, and you say to him: where are you going? Slow down, you are racing against time, so where will you arrive? Some of creation wants to race against time in order to gain more of the good pleasure of the Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him, and some people want to race against time in order to gain more of the world, its enjoyment and what is in it. So what does the first achieve? And what does the second achieve?

Imagine the state of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ when it was said to him: O Messenger of Allah, your feet have swollen though Allah has forgiven you what preceded of your sin and what is to come! His answer ﷺ was: «أفلا أكون عبدًا شكورًا؟» (Should I not be a grateful servant?).^[2] He is racing against time, crowding the moments, as though saying to himself: do not let this minute slip from your hands. And why does he crowd the moments? To achieve more gratitude to the Lord of the worlds, and more real benefit from his existence in this life. And another crowds time to gain more enjoyment, so no opportunity passes him in which a disobedience can be committed without his committing it, we seek refuge in Allah.

The Fixed Term

Then the Prophet ﷺ mentions the matter of fixed terms. The Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him, has taught us that when a soul's term comes, they cannot delay it by an hour nor advance it. Allah, Blessed and Most High, has fixed for every servant a term that he cannot delay or advance, and from here a person feels more psychological security and stability. Do not fear, no one will steal anything from your life.

And we ask Allah, glory be to Him, to relieve the oppressed among all Muslims and to return wrongs to their owners. And my point, with full sorrow for every soul shed without right, is that you reflect on what goes on in such scenes and situations when they occur; the state has passed over the ummah and over all people; the slogans came out (and there was no Facebook at the time), and people set off with words and resounding speeches, then things passed as though nothing had been. The people went off, slept, drank and ate, and many of those who speak on the pulpits, I do not generalize but perhaps, forget the whole cause after a while. We were speaking a little while ago about the cause of Palestine, and the people calling out and denouncing, and then as soon as I return home the dispute begins: what do you think, where shall we have lunch? Shall we go to such-and-such or order such-and-such? What do you think we should eat today? These momentary emotions that exist in the life of the ummah make us feel a kind of pointlessness in conduct and in feeling.

So once again the Prophet ﷺ tells us about fixed terms and numbered days. So what is it that we fear? What is the matter with people who are afraid of death? Why do we fear death, and why do we grieve over a person for whom Allah prepared the means of deliverance and of going directly to Paradise? Glad tidings to whoever is killed unjustly. But when we weep, we do not weep over persons but over principles: the principle of injustice, we seek refuge in Allah, the principle of justice, the principle of truth and falsehood, whatever principle we are weeping over. And if our wish were for persons to remain alive, Allah, Blessed and Most High, would not have said to us: ﴿وَمَا مُحَمَّدٌ إِلَّا رَسُولٌ قَدْ خَلَتْ مِن قَبْلِهِ الرُّسُلُ أَفَإِن مَّاتَ أَوْ قُتِلَ انقَلَبْتُمْ عَلَىٰ أَعْقَابِكُمْ وَمَن يَنقَلِبْ عَلَىٰ عَقِبَيْهِ فَلَن يَضُرَّ اللَّهَ شَيْئًا﴾ (Muhammad is not but a messenger. Messengers have passed on before him. So if he was to die or be killed, would you turn back on your heels? And he who turns back on his heels will never harm Allah at all).^[3] So the possibility of injustice occurring from the aggressor is something very natural.

So the Prophet ﷺ tells us, adjusting the system of concepts in minds, and says: you have asked Allah about fixed terms across time. So if I remember the term that will come after ten years, or fifteen, or twenty, or three days, and I do not know, then what is the difference between me and the term? Time: the minutes, moments, days, hours, weeks and months. So how do I cross them? That is the difference between two persons each of whom is pursuing his fixed term, but this one filled his time with good, and this one ruined his time with evil.

Apportioned Provision

Then comes another matter that must be recast in the minds of Muslims, and it is the matter of provisions. The one who steals, the one who takes bribes, the one who denies rights, the one who plunders, the one who forges, all of these have a flaw in the system of thinking about provision.

And our master the Prophet, upon him be prayers and peace, tells us that this matter, according to its importance in people's hearts and minds, was attended to by the revelation to the same degree, so he ﷺ says that the Holy Spirit blew into my heart that no soul will die until it completes its provision and its term, so fear Allah and be moderate in seeking.^[4] The revelation came and took it to the depths to plant it in the heart of the Prophet ﷺ. And he ﷺ tells us that what is with Allah, which is the matter of provision and term, is not obtained except through obedience to Him. So whoever wants to fill his time with life should fill it with obedience to the Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him, and whoever wants to secure the stability of his soul when the fixed term comes to him should know that the only way to that is more obedience to Allah, Mighty and Majestic.

And any crooked ways of obtaining aims have no way to reaching what Allah wants, and will not be a way to the cultivation of the earth, nor to achieving that for which man was created on the earth in the first place: ﴿إِنِّي جَاعِلٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ خَلِيفَةً﴾ (Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority).^[5] And any walking off the straight line will not bring you to the stage of vicegerency. So whether you are a president of a republic, or a director of an institution, or head of a company, or an imam in a mosque, whatever you are, the straight path is the only line leading to what the Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him, wants: a path joined with knowledge, attached to taqwā, filled with faith. And with any flaw in this threefold system you find a total flaw in all the parts of worldly life.

Do Not Make the World Your Greatest Concern

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ adjusts the system of concepts in Umm Ḥabībah (may Allah be pleased with her), and recasts it in our minds: do not seek from the world more than what Allah, Blessed and Most High, gives you, and if you strive, strive to achieve the will of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, on earth, and do not make the world your greatest concern.

And people take this to mean: I am not greedy and I do not run after the world. No, no, not at all, on the contrary! The matter is more general than that. You know the one who works only to feed himself? The world is his greatest concern. And the one who works to barely fill his family's bellies and live in a place? The world is also his greatest concern. So you say to me: how, shaykh? I do not eat from the unlawful! But you did not seek money to spend from it so as to make it a pillar of religion. There is a man who feeds his children so that they become huge calves of enormous size, and there is a man who feeds his family so that they become leaders in societies; are the two equal? No, by Allah, they are not equal. And there is a man who eats because he is satisfying the instinct of hunger in himself, and there is a man who eats because with this food he is preparing for more work; are the two equal? No, by Allah, they are not equal.

And hence we see: you have supplicated Allah, the Most High, for fixed terms, numbered days and apportioned provisions. So if Allah has decreed for you that a particular sum enter upon you this month, then by Allah the Almighty, do not run more than necessary. And if you do run, out of striving, do not seek a forbidden way to obtain what you imagine will not come, because if it is not written that it comes, it will not come, even if you do whatever you do and ascend to the sky and come down on your feet, it will not come, for Allah, the Most High, did not decree it. So seek Allah's provision from its lawful source; Allah will bring it to you and you will reach it in your lawfulness, the generosity of your soul and the tranquility of your self. The system of Muslim concepts has no cheating, no forgery, no lying and no flattery.

I ask Allah, the Most High, for me and for you, safety, well-being and security, and that Allah, Blessed and Most High, grant us provision from what is lawful. May Allah be pleased with you, and peace be upon you.

--- ^[1]: Editor's documentation: The speaker transmitted the ḥadīth by meaning, so it has been given without quotation marks. The ḥadīth is narrated by Muslim from Ibn Masʿūd (may Allah be pleased with him) in the story of Umm Ḥabībah's supplication, and the speaker did not attribute it; the wording of the supplication for the woman asking, which comes before it in the transcript, has not been included here because its attribution is garbled. ^[2]: Editor's documentation: The ḥadīth is agreed upon, from the ḥadīth of ʿĀʾishah and al-Mughīrah ibn Shuʿbah (may Allah be pleased with them both) in approximately this wording; the speaker did not attribute it. ^[3]: Editor's documentation: Āl ʿImrān: 144. The speaker recited the verse up to «فلن يضر الله شيئًا» (he will never harm Allah at all). ^[4]: Editor's documentation: The speaker transmitted the ḥadīth by meaning and did not attribute it, so it has been given without prophetic quotation marks. ^[5]: Editor's documentation: al-Baqarah: 30, and the speaker recited it to this extent.