Protect Yourselves and Your Families from a Fire

Occasion: Transcription of a Fajr khatira delivered on 18 March 2026 Source: A transcription of a video khatira by Dr. Ahmed Abouseif — [Watch the original video on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3MVI5G3MmE)

All this for the word "divorce"

We pause at Sūrat al-Ṭalāq, in which are His words, exalted be He: ﴿وَكَأَيِّن مِّن قَرْيَةٍ عَتَتْ عَنْ أَمْرِ رَبِّهَا وَرُسُلِهِ فَحَاسَبْنَاهَا حِسَابًا شَدِيدًا وَعَذَّبْنَاهَا عَذَابًا نُّكْرًا * فَذَاقَتْ وَبَالَ أَمْرِهَا وَكَانَ عَاقِبَةُ أَمْرِهَا خُسْرًا﴾ (And how many a town rebelled against the command of its Lord and His messengers, so We held it to a severe account and punished it with a terrible punishment. So it tasted the bad consequence of its affair, and the outcome of its affair was loss)^[1] and then: ﴿أَعَدَّ اللَّهُ لَهُمْ عَذَابًا شَدِيدًا فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ يَا أُولِي الْأَلْبَابِ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا﴾ (Allah has prepared for them a severe punishment; so fear Allah, O you of understanding who have believed)^[2].

All this threat, all this severe accounting and terrible punishment, for the sake of what? For the sake of the word "divorce." This is how our Lord, glorified be He, magnifies the standing of the home and its bounds.

How do I bear patiently with the one I live with?

One of us asks: how do I bear patiently with this woman who is with me at home? And she asks: how do I bear patiently with him? So Allah, blessed and exalted, gives us another example in the next surah, Sūrat al-Taḥrīm: ﴿يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَكَ تَبْتَغِي مَرْضَاتَ أَزْوَاجِكَ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ﴾ (O Prophet, why do you prohibit what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful)^[3].

Imagine legislation descending from heaven to earth because of a word that came from the mouth of the Prophet ﷺ! Because Allah, Mighty and Majestic, wants this home held together, and wants neither separation nor dispute for it. Then the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, addresses us from both sides: He gently reproaches the Prophet ﷺ, and warns his wives, may Allah's good pleasure be upon them: ﴿إِن تَتُوبَا إِلَى اللَّهِ فَقَدْ صَغَتْ قُلُوبُكُمَا وَإِن تَظَاهَرَا عَلَيْهِ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ مَوْلَاهُ وَجِبْرِيلُ وَصَالِحُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمَلَائِكَةُ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ ظَهِيرٌ﴾ (If you two turn in repentance to Allah, then your hearts have already inclined; but if you support one another against him, then indeed Allah is his protector, and Jibrīl and the righteous among the believers, and the angels, moreover, are his supporters)^[4].

What great backing and support these are! Allah is his protector, and with Him Jibrīl and the righteous among the believers, and the angels, moreover, are supporters; all of that because of an incident involving one of the wives.

And I always say to the sisters who come to reconciliation sessions: imagine he left you just once angry, distressed, unable to see what is in front of him; who will catch him? So gather the matter around him as much as you can.

The point is that my Lord taught the Prophet ﷺ the method of overlooking, a measured looking-away, within homes: ﴿عَرَّفَ بَعْضَهُ وَأَعْرَضَ عَن بَعْضٍ﴾ (he made known part of it and ignored part)^[5].

﴿قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا﴾ (Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire)

Things may become relatively impossible, so that one of us cannot bear patiently with the other. Then the Lord of the worlds says, as a starting principle: ﴿قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ﴾ (Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and they do what they are commanded)^[6].

Imagine this story: a man divorced his wife, and she had no one in the world but him. When she went out into society she found herself alone, because she had left her father's care only for her husband's care; she was not used to relying on herself, nor to knowing people's ways, the shifts of circumstance, the differences of temperament, the schemes and the clamour with which life is filled. So she became prey to whoever would deceive her and whoever would devour her before long. Who caused her loss? Her husband. So Allah says to him: ﴿قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا﴾ (Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire). And to the extent that society burns from such an effect, our friend who exposed society to her and exposed her to society will burn.

The address is to men and women together, but it is more fitting for men; patience from you is more required and more fitting to be present, because you hold the reins.

Why this depiction of the end of those who lost their homes?

The gist of the matter: protect your home, man, and you too, woman, take care of it. A woman refuses her husband, desire overcomes him and he falls into what is forbidden (and that is, of course, no compulsion); the doer is responsible for his deed, but behind him is the one who caused him to do so. So we are before two parties, each of whom is responsible for protecting the other from the Fire.

When the home is set right, a father and a mother both balanced, what do you imagine the result will be in the children? You find him standing in front of you praying, an imam reciting the Qur'an with a sweet voice, good words and a good soul; and if he has a problem he goes to the shaykh: help me with dialogue, with harmony, with affection, with tranquillity, serenity and stability, with knowing the rights of a sister, of the home and of a father. This is what the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, established for us.

Then Dr. Ahmed reflects: what links people and stones in His words: ﴿وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ﴾ (whose fuel is people and stones)?^[13] Were we not striking one another with words, as if striking with stones? So the recompense matches the origin of the deed. We were hurling filth from our tongues and our mouths, cursing, insulting and damning; so here is a stone that strikes you on the head while you are in the Fire, and you will not be able to bear your state.

And Dr. Ahmed reflects that believing homes are guarded by angels, and it is as though their task changes from what it was between you and your wife, so that they turn from angels of mercy into angels of punishment: ﴿عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ﴾ (over which are angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them). And what did Allah command them? To punish you. So bear it, for you chose a different way of life.^[12]

With this simile and these comparisons, you can imagine: will you bear patiently with the one who is with you, or endure that punishment? Be patient, of course; and why not?

Is she bad in herself, or does she just not suit you?

So, my brother, why are you not patient? You say: "She has this and that." Very well, let us compare the state of a woman you are not pleased with and others. And I ask you: why are you not pleased with her? Is she truly of bad character, or are you imagining it? Is she bad in herself, or does she simply not appeal to you and you cannot get along with her? There is a very great difference between the two matters. It is as when you say: "I do not like riding in this car, it is not for me at all"; that does not mean it is bad in itself. There is a difference between one who is bad in herself and one who simply does not appeal to me.

Let us suppose she is bad: how far does her badness reach? Does it reach the badness of the wife of Nūḥ and the wife of Lūṭ? Look at the connection, and pay attention to the order of the verses^[7]: the wife of Nūḥ and the wife of Lūṭ were under two of Our righteous servants^[8]. Are you in the righteousness of Nūḥ and Lūṭ? And is what came from your wife like what came from the wife of Nūḥ and the wife of Lūṭ? You know what the betrayal there was: a betrayal of the way and the law, of disbelief and creed. If your wife is like that, divorce her and be at rest. But if she is less than that, then patience is our principle.

And we turn to the other side and say to her: come, my sister, why are you angry with this man? Our words and complaints are all at the same level. So we ask her: is this man bad to the point of being at the level of Pharaoh? His badness does not reach the badness of Pharaoh. Then Allah says: ﴿وَضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا امْرَأَتَ فِرْعَوْنَ إِذْ قَالَتْ رَبِّ ابْنِ لِي عِندَكَ بَيْتًا فِي الْجَنَّةِ وَنَجِّنِي مِن فِرْعَوْنَ وَعَمَلِهِ﴾ (And Allah presents an example for those who believe: the wife of Pharaoh, when she said, "My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise, and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds")^[9]. Do you see anything of this in your husband? Imagine how much hardship she was living in that she asked Allah for deliverance from Pharaoh's deeds, whether towards her or towards those she saw being killed, taken captive or tortured under his hand.

Putting the picture together

If we want to complete the surah in our minds, let us read it in full. First we are before the example of the Prophet ﷺ, teaching us the method of overlooking and looking away: he made known part of it and ignored part. Then we move on and find a mighty supporter from the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, if one party wrongs the other. Then we see ourselves responsible for protecting and maintaining this structure. Then we find a very great responsibility for the reform required of me within the home, and for reordering matters as they ought to be. Then I see the examples that light the way for me: I know how great the level of corruption was in the wife of Nūḥ and the wife of Lūṭ, I compare what my wife has with what they had, and I see our lady as an angel from heaven by comparison. And if she compares me with Pharaoh, she sees that this man is very much to be pitied. So we are then on the way to greater contentment.

Sūrat al-Mulk: a comment on the story

That is why you see the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, commenting on this story with what Sūrat al-Mulk after it contains, as you read: ﴿إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُم بِالْغَيْبِ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَأَجْرٌ كَبِيرٌ﴾ (Indeed, those who fear their Lord unseen will have forgiveness and a great reward)^[10].

By the way, in the verse you read in these contexts: ﴿وَمَن يُؤْمِن بِاللَّهِ وَيَعْمَلْ صَالِحًا يُكَفِّرْ عَنْهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِ وَيُدْخِلْهُ…﴾ (And whoever believes in Allah and does righteousness, He will remove from him his misdeeds and admit him…)^[11]. But in the sentence in al-Ṭalāq, the words "He will remove from him his misdeeds" were taken out; why? Dr. Ahmed holds that this is because the same verse came before it in al-Taghābun in the same context. So what is the difference? In al-Taghābun there occurred what is called taghābun: the entanglement of souls, rancour and hatred, and the pain that happens night and day: so-and-so talks, so-and-so gossips about me, so-and-so insults me. This calls for the expiation of misdeeds. But in al-Ṭalāq, after He made the method clear to me, the matter is over: each of the two parties is as though nothing is held against him, and the page of both parties has become white. If we divorce, we divorce with excellence, and if we live together, we live together with excellence, and so the page of each of them stays white.

I have spoken at length, my sincere apologies, and I ask Allah, glorified be He, to forgive us and you and to set our homes right. I ask Allah, blessed and exalted, to set our homes right for us, to make our families pleased with us and make us pleased with our families, to fill all our homes with blessing, intimacy and good pleasure from Him, glorified be He, and to grant us good understanding, good judgement, good expression and a good end. O Allah, amīn, O Lord of the worlds.

--- ^[1]: Sūrat al-Ṭalāq, verses 8–9. Editor's documentation: the speaker cited the verse after an opening cut off in the transcript. ^[2]: Sūrat al-Ṭalāq, verse 10 (some of its words). Editor's documentation: it is given here to the extent the speaker uttered it. ^[3]: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm, verses 1–2. Editor's documentation: the speaker referred in general terms to the legislation that follows it (the dissolution of oaths). ^[4]: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm, verse 4. ^[5]: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm, verse 3. ^[6]: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm, verse 6. ^[7]: Editor's documentation: the speaker is pointing to the sequence of verses in Sūrat al-Taḥrīm: overlooking (verse 3), then mutual backing (verse 4), then protection from the Fire (verse 6), then the examples of the wives of Nūḥ and Lūṭ and the wife of Pharaoh (verses 10–11). ^[8]: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm, verse 10 (a reference to its meaning). ^[9]: Sūrat al-Taḥrīm, verse 11. ^[10]: Sūrat al-Mulk, verse 12. ^[11]: Editor's documentation: the verse in this wording is in Sūrat al-Taghābun (verse 9). The speaker's words about where it occurs in al-Ṭalāq are unsettled in the transcript, so the idea has been given to the extent he uttered it, without specifying. In Sūrat al-Ṭalāq itself there is another verse containing "يُكَفِّرْ عَنْهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِ" (He will remove from him his misdeeds) (verse 5), so the speaker's explanation applies specifically to verse 11 and is his own reasoning. ^[12]: Editor's documentation: this is a heartfelt reflection by the speaker, not a scriptural text; the harsh and severe angels in the verse are the keepers of the Fire. ^[13]: Editor's documentation: this is a reflection by the speaker. In the tafsīr of Ibn Kathīr, it is said of the stones that what is meant is the idols that used to be worshipped, while Ibn Masʿūd, Mujāhid, Abū Jaʿfar al-Bāqir and al-Suddī said: they are stones of sulphur.