The First Call of Faith in Sūrat al-Nisāʾ

Occasion: Transcription of an ʿIshāʾ khatira delivered on 19 July 2026 Source: A transcription of a video khatira by Dr. Ahmed Abouseif — [Watch the original video on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHhX6HDXJlA)

The Doctor opened his session with a supplication: O Allah, we ask You for all good, the immediate and the deferred, and we seek refuge in You from all evil, the immediate and the deferred; we ask You for what necessitates Your mercy and what secures Your forgiveness, the gain of every righteous deed, safety from every sin, success in attaining Paradise and deliverance from the Fire; we ask You for soundness of sight and insight, tranquillity and purity of souls, soundness and cleanness of hearts, and that You bring us to Paradise and the means to it.

Then he said: our session tonight is on the subject we are still speaking about, which is the calls of faith.

The calls of faith are pivotal axes

The calls of faith, "O you who believe," represent for us the pivotal axes in the surahs of the Qur'an. They are like an engineering project: there is one who installs the door, and one who puts colours on the walls and adds the decorations, but the pivotal axis of the whole project is the engineers, the engineer who designed how these things are to be placed and the ways of carrying them out.

So when Allah the Exalted says "O you who believe," He is addressing the select of the select, those charged with implementing the features of this law, to the exclusion of others. As for "O people," it is an address to all creation concerning the general obligations in which everyone shares, while the people of faith are called with special calls that do not extend to others.

A quick review: al-Baqarah, Āl ʿImrān and al-Nisāʾ

We have spoken about the calls of Sūrat al-Baqarah and the calls of Sūrat Āl ʿImrān, and in the last session we began a brief discussion of Sūrat al-Nisāʾ. By way of review for those attending for the first time: Sūrat al-Baqarah is the surah of building the Islamic society, Sūrat Āl ʿImrān is the surah of maintaining this building that has been completed, and then Sūrat al-Nisāʾ comes to inspect, examine and give further attention to the first component of this society, which is the family. So the context is coherent: we built; the stages of maintenance come from two directions, unity of belief and unity of society; then we look at the finest components of the structure that completes this society, which is the family.

In its general atmosphere the surah sets out for us a number of important paths, the first of which is eliminating every kind of injustice against the weak of every kind within society. The surah as a whole aims to eliminate any kind of injustice that was widespread among the people of the Jāhiliyyah, so it does justice to every weak person and returns to everyone with a right his right.

The preamble: "O people" and the secret of the verse's ending

The surah opens with the words of the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He: ﴿يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا﴾ (O people, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer).^[1]

This is not the first call of faith, since we are focusing on "O you who believe"; rather it is a first reminder to people in general that they were created from one soul.

Pinning down the words here is important. As we were saying in the morning: in the endings of verses there are secrets and coherence, and closing a verse with a particular content is a secret that many people do not notice. His words, exalted be He: ﴿إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا﴾ (Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer): observation means constant follow-up that looks for points of completeness and points of deficiency. Whoever observes another either does so because the other is under suspicion, so he watches him to discover his patterns of error, or because the other is meant to advance and rise, so his points of quality and soundness are examined to know: is he fit for promotion or not? So Allah observes us in two patterns: the pattern of the relationship between us and Allah, ﴿الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ﴾ (through whom you ask one another), and the pattern of the relationship between those bound by ties of kinship.

The ties of kinship are the valve that links all creatures

It is as though the ties of kinship are the valve shared by all creatures. You find two people who meet in a place where they have never met before, in a lesson or in a mosque; they exchange greetings, then one asks the other: where are you from? He mentions his town or his neighbourhood, and the other says: Allāhu akbar! We are from the same area; indeed there is a tie of marriage or lineage between us, so-and-so is his paternal uncle and so-and-so is his maternal aunt. And then the bond is established between them. So the valve that links all creatures is the ties of kinship, and they are not to be demeaned.

That is why it has come in the ḥadīth that the womb (al-raḥim) stands before Allah and complains, and the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, promises it that He will maintain ties with whoever maintains ties with it and cut off whoever cuts it off.^[2] So His words came: ﴿وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ﴾ (And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs) as an exaltation of the standing of the ties of kinship, and a warning against demeaning or exploiting them.

Look at the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend": what do they mean? A young man goes about with a girl for a while, then leaves her and goes off. And in our law, a person married a woman for a period, then divorced her and went off. What is the difference if you look with a superficial, physical view? There is none; yet this is lawful and that is forbidden. Why? Because we have what is called the sanctity of the womb, the sanctity of the place where one drop meets another, so we go beyond the physical view of two bodies meeting to what Allah, blessed and exalted, called "the solemn covenant." For me the matter goes further than that, and this is why my Lord said: ﴿وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا﴾ (And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer).

The first call of faith in al-Nisāʾ

All this is a preamble. As for the first call, our Lord, blessed and exalted, says in it: ﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا﴾ (O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not straiten them in order to take back part of what you gave them, unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good).^[3] Let us go through it step by step.

﴿لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا﴾ (It is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion). Whoever does that, is he a disbeliever or a believer? The basic premise is that whoever does that is not a believer. This was one of the customs of the Jāhiliyyah: the first heir of the dead man would place his garment or cloak over the woman who had been the dead man's wife and say: she is mine, she is part of the inheritance. Then he would dispose of her as he wished: either marry her without a dowry, or marry her to whomever he wished and take her dowry himself. A part of the inheritance, as though you had inherited a plot of land: if you wished you took it without compensation, and if you wished you sold it and took money.

So a woman came complaining of this to the Prophet ﷺ and said: O Messenger of Allah, I neither inherited (that is, I was not able to get my share of the wealth) nor was I released so that I could marry whom I wish.^[5] It is as though she had passed from being free to being a slave woman or a bondsman with no say over herself, and no right to anything except to obey and listen. So the verses were revealed.

Why "it is not lawful" and not "it is forbidden"? The one who does this is not a believer, but since the address was to the believers, the wording did not come in the form of prohibition but in the form of negating lawfulness. We have in another verse: ﴿حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ﴾ (Forbidden to you are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters),^[4] so what is the difference in phrasing? There, there is severity of tone and harshness of context, because the matter is too grave to be described or mentioned. Here, however, the people of faith were closer to the natural disposition than to do such a thing.

Someone may say: then is it lawful for us to inherit them willingly? No; what is negated is the inheritance as a whole, but it is not describing what is permitted and what is not; it is describing the situation. As when you say: it is not lawful for you to eat standing; this does not mean it is lawful for you to eat sitting in contrast to it; the description of the situation is what is negated. And since inheriting women was, in origin, always accompanied by compulsion, as there would be no woman inherited willingly, He negated the situation as a whole.

﴿وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ﴾ (And do not straiten them). ʿAḍl is holding back without restriction or condition, absolute holding back. It has two sides: the woman's guardian, or her husband.

As for the guardian: I have a daughter; can she marry without my permission? No. So I hold her back until someone comes who pleases me, not someone who is right for her. Here I have two kinds of holding back: a father who holds back his daughter because the suitable person has not yet come, and his assessment takes precedence over hers. The matter differs with different cultures, contexts and customs, along with level of education and very many things, if we look at the principle of compatibility or parity between spouses; there is a whole system to be put on the table, but we are speaking about one detail. And another father holds back his daughter because no one has come to her who benefits him, so he wants to profit through her: I have good merchandise, so how much will you buy it for? Pay more and I will give her to you; pay less, and no. The Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, forbids that.

As for the husband: how does he straiten her? He keeps her, neither giving her her right nor divorcing her outright, so he leaves her in the middle, like barren land, like an endowed house, like someone who stopped halfway up the stairs, neither going up nor coming down. He says: you are like this; I will neither divorce you nor give you your rights. So she is neither wife nor divorcee, and that is forbidden in the foundation of the law. Then our Lord said: ﴿لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ﴾ (in order to take back part of what you gave them). Some men go so far as to say to their wives: I will not divorce you unless you give me such-and-such or give up such-and-such, as though she were paying the price of this divorce in advance. This is forbidden ʿaḍl, and we ask Allah for safety.

﴿إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ﴾ (unless they commit a clear immorality). This is a matter somewhat removed from our discussion, because there are rights connected with committing immorality and the like; the rulings of the law here do not extend to her if she has betrayed — and we seek refuge in Allah from that — rather other matters apply to her, so we will suffice with this for brevity.

﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾ (And live with them in kindness)

Here is a subtle point: all the texts commanding rights within the home, and all the commands that came to maintain and protect the home, were addressed to men rather than women. Had He said "wa-ʿāshirūhum" (live with them, masculine), the address would have been to men and women together, but He said "wa-ʿāshirūhunna" (live with them, feminine), so He addressed the men. In all these places you see that Allah, blessed and exalted, addresses men because you hold guardianship (qiwāmah), and because you hold guardianship you are the one commanded to do good. People understand guardianship as despotism, monopoly and domination; no, rather it is more responsibility.

An example of this is someone saying to you: I have been promoted and become chairman of the board, and I am very happy. It is said to him: what of it? Under you are employees who work, but if the company loses, the responsibility is on you, not on the employee under you. You did not rise above him; rather you became responsible for him, so if he falls short in his work or makes a mistake, you are the one who will be asked. This is the concept of guardianship in the law: that you are in charge of the needs of this house with everyone in it, and all are your responsibility.

What is meant by living together? Does the word "ʿishrah" indicate only the meeting of bodies in the home? No. It is the meeting of feelings, the meeting of minds, the meeting of pockets (that is, of wealth), and then the meeting of bodies at the fourth stage, because bodies cannot meet well except after the meeting of these dimensions before them. When the bodies meet, feeling is present; it is not the bare physical encounter that occurs between animals, but a different level of relationship that the Lord of the worlds, glorified be He, has made sacred in our eyes. This is a word to pause at.

"In kindness": whose custom?

Then we move on to "bi-l-maʿrūf" (in kindness, according to what is customarily known): which customary standard? The customary standard of this person or of that person? It is what people have customarily recognised in their societies. Many of the problems present these days are caused by this. You find some people coming out to say: cooking for her husband is not something a woman owes; it is not obligatory on her! And it is said to him: what is this talk?

An important point: if I married the daughter of so-and-so who all her life had a maid serving her and preparing her food and could not do that herself, and I took her while she was at this level and promised her that I would provide her the like of what she had before I married her, then it is not obligatory on her to cook. But if I took the neighbours' daughter, from those we live alongside in the same area, or whom I met at school, university or work, and what the situation is in the societies we live in is customarily known, then the word "al-maʿrūf" comes to give us this flexibility in approaching the verse. And a woman should not measure herself against others when what is customary for her differs from what is customary for other women.

This is one of the whisperings happening now: a sister comes from a simple background, from a remote village, and meets some sisters who tell her: this is your right, this is the law, call the police; and they keep whispering to her until a divorce with no return takes place, and our sister loses her home, and she looks for those who were whispering to her a little while earlier and telling her: do not worry, we are around you; and she finds no one. Their mission of corruption is over, and if you looked for them you would find them around another woman who is still married, until she is divorced. By Allah the Almighty, I see cases of this kind.

That is why there is another responsibility on the muftī: to grasp the custom that people are asking about. If a woman comes asking: is this my right or not my right? Is it obligatory on me or not? There is no such thing as right and wrong in the abstract; rather, there is what is called a case study.^[6]

--- ^[1]: Editor's documentation: al-Nisāʾ: 1. ^[2]: Editor's documentation: The speaker related this ḥadīth by meaning. Its origin is the ḥadīth of Abū Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): «إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَلَقَ الخَلْقَ، حَتَّى إِذَا فَرَغَ مِنْ خَلْقِهِ، قَالَتِ الرَّحِمُ: هَذَا مَقَامُ العَائِذِ بِكَ مِنَ القَطِيعَةِ، قَالَ: نَعَمْ، أَمَا تَرْضَيْنَ أَنْ أَصِلَ مَنْ وَصَلَكِ، وَأَقْطَعَ مَنْ قَطَعَكِ؟ قَالَتْ: بَلَى يَا رَبِّ، قَالَ: فَهُوَ لَكِ» ("Allah created the creation, and when He had finished creating it, the womb said: This is the station of one who seeks refuge in You from being cut off. He said: Yes; are you not content that I maintain ties with whoever maintains ties with you, and cut off whoever cuts you off? It said: Indeed, my Lord. He said: Then that is yours"), narrated by al-Bukhārī (5987) in his wording, and by Muslim with similar wording. ^[3]: Editor's documentation: al-Nisāʾ: 19. The speaker cited the verse in segments interspersed with his words; it is given here in full from the muṣḥaf. ^[4]: Editor's documentation: al-Nisāʾ: 23. ^[5]: Editor's documentation: The speaker related the incident by meaning. Ibn Kathīr mentioned in his tafsīr, from Ibn Jurayj from ʿIkrimah, that the verse was revealed concerning Kubayshah bint Maʿn, whose husband Abū Qays ibn al-Aslat died and whose stepson then pressed his claim over her; she came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I neither inherited from my husband, nor was I left free so that I might marry." Al-Bukhārī (4579) narrated from Ibn ʿAbbās (may Allah be pleased with them both) that when a man died, his heirs had more right to his wife, and so the verse was revealed. ^[6]: Editor's documentation: The transcript breaks off at his words "so the ruling on…", and the khatira was not completed.