Dealing with People

Occasion: Transcription of a khatira delivered on 3 October 2019 Source: A transcription of a video khatira by Dr. Ahmed Abouseif — Watch the original video on YouTube

Do not find people burdensome in your life or in your day; do not find anyone burdensome. For people do not stand over your head; they stand on the earth, and the earth belongs to Allah. If the Lord of Might, glorified and exalted is He, has qualified them to stand upon His earth, then how can you not grant them the respite to stand with you on their earth, and not on yours? And if one of mankind were sitting over your head, you could set him aside, but do not find people burdensome.

People Are Like Food, Seasons, and Passing Ailments

Deal with creatures as though they were kinds of food: some are salty and some are sweet, and in each there is benefit, but too much of either is harmful. Deal with creatures as though they were the seasons of the year: some come with fierce winds, and some come with a soothing breeze, and in each there is benefit. Deal with people as though they were the mild ailments that pass through your body and then you recover. Deal with them with the logic that they are something passing and not lasting, and that your steadiness in yourself is neither through them nor for them; for we and they, or all people, are only elements that the Lord of the worlds, glorified and exalted is He, makes grow for a time, then death plucks them so that they pass on to a Garden or to a Fire.

Your Standing Is with Your Lord, Not with Creation

If you want to determine your standing with someone, then your Lord, glorified and exalted is He, is the most deserving of that; so look at your standing with Allah, and do not evaluate yourself by your standing with creation. And know that people will never be pleased with you as long as you live, for in their eyes you are between a gloating eye or a spiteful one, and few are the people who are pleased, and the one who is pleased is pleased only because he loves. And the love of creatures is only a blessing that Allah the Exalted casts into their hearts. So what remains is for you to return to strengthening your tie with Allah, glorified and exalted is He; if you want Allah's good pleasure, it is your goal, and if you want people's pleasure, then Allah's good pleasure, glorified is He, is the way to it as well.

Moses and al-Khiḍr, peace be upon them both

Moses, peace and blessings be upon him, was tried by Allah the Exalted at one stage of his life with al-Khiḍr, the gist of whose words was that he told him that he knew nothing, and that was indeed the truth. Even though Moses, peace be upon him, had a great standing with Allah, a great standing in knowledge, a great standing among people, and a great standing in society, he was nonetheless tried by one who said to him: Stop for a while. Stop for a while to spare yourself a self-deception that takes you where your Lord does not want you to go; stop for a while to increase in knowledge with which your Lord is pleased for you.

Learn from Every Kind

The people around you, of all their kinds, you deal with them every day: the one who cheats, the one who steals, the one who swindles, the one who is in need. I expect, and Allah the Exalted knows best, that you need all of these people so that you may increase in learning from Him, glorified is He. That base, malicious one, you need to learn purity from him; that liar, you need to learn truthfulness from him; that schemer, you need to learn patience from him; and this one who harms you, you learn from him fortitude for your own self in your life.

Deal with people as creatures of Allah, blessed and exalted is He, whom Allah, Mighty and Majestic, placed in this universe for a message that each one of them is to carry out. The mouse may not please you, but it is useful in the very foundation of life, and had it not been, Allah the Exalted would not have created it. And do not try to compare that mouse with that snake, nor either of them with the lion, nor any of them with the fox; for each has its function, whether its shape pleases you or not, whether its traits please you or not, for it is a creature of Allah, glorified and exalted is He. He deposited in every soul secrets that He placed in it so that wisdom and purpose might result from them, and Allah the Exalted is Most High and Most Knowing.

I ask Allah for me and for you blessing, well-being, safety, and tranquility; may Allah be pleased with you and make you pleased. Peace be upon you, and may Allah bless you.