Pleasing People Is a Goal That Cannot Be Reached

Occasion: Transcription of a Fajr khatira delivered on 1 August 2025 Source: A transcription of a video khatira by Dr. Ahmed Abouseif — Watch the original video on YouTube

The Rancor in the Hearts

Yesterday we mentioned the matter of "the rancor in the hearts" (waghr al-ṣudūr). What is the meaning of waghr al-ṣudūr? When the heart is filled with rancor, or the chest changes and senses a kind of malice toward people, you see that it pains its owner and pains those around him.

The example sometimes given: Allah, Blessed and Exalted, grants you the doing of good for many people, so you do good and spend and give generously and speak kindly and give the utmost you can. But you see on the other side some sick souls who acknowledge no kindness of yours, do not thank you for your deed, do not repay you your favor, and still look only at what is in your hand: if you give, you are the person of virtue and approval, and if you withhold, you are the person of reviling and cursing. If this is from strangers or from those far away, it is acceptable, we can say that souls change. And look at the verse our shaykh recited to us in the prayer: ﴿الَّذِينَ يُرِيدُونَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا يَا لَيْتَ لَنَا مِثْلَ مَا أُوتِيَ قَارُونُ﴾ (Those who desire the worldly life, "Would that we had the like of what was given to Qārūn");^[1] for Qārūn, as far as they were concerned, was the highest example whom they looked at, eyeing what he had and wishing for some of this abundant good.

But the problem is that you see souls denying kindness and knowing no path to affection, between spouses, for example, who lived together for a time, good times, companionship and kindness, then at some moment one of them disowns the other as if he had never known that person. So how can you treat this? How can you keep yourself in people's hearts a person of standing and rank?

The Question Is Wrong

The answer is that the question is wrong. Why? Because people never are pleased, never. People will never be pleased with you. For that reason our master the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, used to supplicate Allah, Blessed and Exalted, to grant him a sound heart and a truthful tongue.^[2] As for human beings, that is not the subject.

When we stand before Allah, glory be to Him, the Exalted, on the Day of Resurrection, will He ask me about what I did, or will He ask me about people's evaluation of what I did? What do you think? Will Allah, Blessed and Exalted, ask me about what came from me, or about how people saw me and judged me and mistreated my kindness? How will He, glory be to Him, see me? How will He judge my deed? He will judge what I myself did. Hence a person should not await praise from people. And the loser is the one who does something so that people will praise him, so that creation will commend him.

Even relatives, friends and companions: if you do a kindness to your family and in your country there, or to your friends here, so that they will say: By Allah, this one is generous, gallant and good, then no, no! That is a losing bargain. Believe me, by Allah, God willing, this will never happen. No one will ever gain people's pleasure. Why? Because souls are jealous and compare, even people of the same profession: however much good you do, he does not see your kindness in any way, and instead always sees you as a person of deficiency, I seek Allah's forgiveness. Why, sir? Because if you have been given talents they must be put at my service, and if you have some good it must come to me, and if you have a skill or a mind it must return to me. I am the sole beneficiary of what you do! Then if you change in some conduct or action, or you are compelled to something, you are faulty in his eyes.

You see brothers, sons of one father and one mother, and everyone is waiting for everyone, waiting for everyone, no one wants to extend a hand in giving for the sheer sake of giving. As if the matter of the Hereafter has vanished from people's minds, souls and chests, so you do not see a person who gives for Allah's sake and withholds for Allah's sake, extends for Allah's sake and holds back for Allah's sake. It is not found except rarely, except for those upon whom Allah, glory be to Him, the Exalted, has mercy.

Make Your Deed the Object of the Lord of the Worlds' Gaze

Hence let us remember Allah's being aware of the hearts. And my counsel at the close of this short, small talk: if you have any deed, make it the object of the gaze of the Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him, the Exalted. Who is aware of your heart? Allah, glory be to Him, the Exalted. Is there anyone other than Allah, Mighty and Majestic, who is aware of our hearts? Impossible, no. So if Allah, Mighty and Majestic, alone is the One aware of my heart, for whom do I work? I work for the sake of the One who is aware of my heart, and who knows the reality of what I have.

So if people deny your deed, that is their affair, not yours. And if they agree with you and praise you and are under your protection and in your shade, the matter is up to them as well. Whoever turns his heart to the pleasure of people loses the pleasure of Allah and the pleasure of people. And whoever turns his own deed and heart to Allah loses people, and even if he loses people, he still has the pleasing of the Lord of the worlds, glory be to Him.

--- ^[1]: Editor's documentation: From Sūrat al-Qaṣaṣ (79). The speaker confined himself to the part mentioned, and mentioned that the shaykh recited it in the prayer. ^[2]: Editor's documentation: The speaker alluded to a supplication handed down from the Prophet ﷺ in which he asks for a sound heart and a truthful tongue, and did not mention its source; the narration was by meaning without quotation.