Farewell to Ramadan

Occasion: A summary of a Friday khutbah delivered on 23 June 2017, at the close of the month of RamadanSource: A transcription of a video khutbah by Dr. Ahmed Abouseif — Watch the original video on YouTube

All praise is due to Allah, to whom belongs the dominion and to whom belongs all praise, in whose hand are the keys of the heavens and the earth, and He has power over all things. And we bear witness that our master Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger, His chosen one among His creation and His beloved, who conveyed the message, fulfilled the trust, and gave sincere counsel to the Ummah, so may Allah reward him on our behalf and on behalf of the Ummah of Islam with the best of rewards. To proceed:

Not long ago we were speaking to ourselves about welcoming Ramadan, and charging our resolve to reach a stage fit for receiving the noble guest. He came down upon us and knocked at our doors; some opened to him and some hid from him, and whoever opened the door to him hosted him as best he could or was stingy toward him with his effort, and people differ in that. Now we have nothing before us but to bid farewell to the noble month and to ask Allah to write for us its reward. And we do not know whether we will reach it again or not. And do not imagine that life goes on as you wish, for we are before decrees that the Lord of the worlds directs, and He knows when, where, and how the appointed time comes. The Prophet ﷺ forbade any of us to wish for death, and taught us to say: «اللَّهُمَّ أَحْيِنِي مَا كَانَتِ الْحَيَاةُ خَيْرًا لِي، وَتَوَفَّنِي إِذَا كَانَتِ الْوَفَاةُ خَيْرًا لِي» (O Allah, keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and cause me to die when death is better for me).^[1]

What Do We Have in Our Hands?

Let us count what was in our hands: what have we accomplished? Among the people of the Qur'an there are those who completed it ten times in Ramadan, and that is Allah's bounty and blessing. And among people are those who spent the same time and more, but read one complete recitation. This one relied on the number of good deeds stated for acquiring the letters, and that one relied on what comes from reflecting on every letter he reads and following its meanings. And so servants differ in what they acquire of their deeds and their reward with their Lord.

And how many good deeds did we gain during the month? No one knows that about you but you, after the Lord of the worlds. And the principle with deeds is seclusion, and by seclusion I do not mean that you be alone, apart from people and withdraw from them, but rather your seclusion in the depths of your soul: do you do these deeds purely for Allah or for show and reputation among people? Your seclusion with Allah is the determinant.

Then the prayers that have passed: who among us performed the five prayers in the mosque in congregation? I am a witness over people, and I know where the work is among them and where the stillness is among those in our community, and I do not want to say it to the letter. But each of us should set for himself an indicator of right or wrong in this column. As for fasting, I do not want to speak about it in principle, for it is the month of fasting, and that is not the place for discussion. But it is painful that not fasting has become something ordinary for some people, and that one of them is astonished at the one who counts the people: these are breaking the fast and these are fasting! "What is it to you and the people?" As though the scales had been overturned.

And how many prayers passed over you in the month? And how many times did you stand from the first rakʿa of the ʿIshā' prayer until you bade farewell to your prayer after the Witr? How many times did you accomplish and how many times did you miss? Then reading the Qur'an as we pointed out, then tasbīḥ, taḥmīd, tahlīl, and dhikr. And how many times did you supplicate for yourself, your children, your wife, and your dependents? And how many times did you raise your hands to the sky asking Allah to seal your life with good? And how much did you give in charity? And when one of us enters with a plate of food in his hand and says: This is before suḥūr, please help yourselves, what happiness he has brought into people's souls, and he seeks reward for that with his Lord! Things that may seem small and light in people's eyes, and are great in effect in the hearts of the believers.

Iḥtisāb: The Greatest Thing We Come Out With

Ramadan was the month of reform. And the most important thing we gained from it is the matter of iḥtisāb (seeking reward from Allah alone), around which the Messenger of Allah ﷺ kept returning when he said: «مَنْ صَامَ رَمَضَانَ إِيمَانًا وَاحْتِسَابًا» (Whoever fasts Ramadan out of faith and seeking reward), and he said: «مَنْ قَامَ رَمَضَانَ إِيمَانًا وَاحْتِسَابًا» (Whoever stands in prayer in Ramadan out of faith and seeking reward), and he said: «مَنْ قَامَ لَيْلَةَ الْقَدْرِ إِيمَانًا وَاحْتِسَابًا» (Whoever stands in prayer on the Night of Qadr out of faith and seeking reward).^[2] This word comes in the middle of the Prophetic counsel to awaken this sense in the souls of the Muslims.

And what does it mean? That I gave in charity not for the sake of the shaykh, nor for the administration, nor for so-and-so, but for Allah; I sought its reward with Allah. If I find thanks from people, may Allah reward you with good and you have done your part, and if I do not find thanks from creation, I am not one to vindicate myself, because I did it for Allah.

But carry the matter of iḥtisāb into the homes. You spent on your wife for twenty years, then you come to reproach her with what you did: how you spent on her, and how you housed her in such and such a place. Do you hold over her what she gave you, or what you gave her? Are you seeking reward from Allah or not? And she has been patient with you for many long years, then the two of you quarrel over things? Where is the matter of iḥtisāb? When the man enters his home angry, in turmoil against himself or his family, and she is patient with him, seeking reward before the Lord of the worlds, this patience, and this tender word, and this gentle, refined touch. And when the man enters upon his family and sees them in need, so he spends on them and gives in charity, for no reason except that he seeks reward with Allah.

This matter is a pillar of life. When it is absent, there arises the discord and conflict that we see among people in the courts and in reconciliation sessions. And when it is present you do the deed and go on, turning to nothing and waiting for nothing, because you know that the One who counts the good deeds is the Lord of the worlds, and that the One who purifies your deeds for you is the Lord of Might and not any human being. And if you do a deed so that people will thank you for it, you have placed yourself under their hands. But if you are lofty, seeking reward with Allah, you have raised yourself above the level of all these people, because you did not do it for them.

The Patience of Fasting and the Patience of the Home

We learned in Ramadan patience with hunger and thirst. So if you return from your work one day and find that your wife has not prepared food for you and you are asked to be patient for one more hour, do not be disturbed to this degree. For you used to be late to the Maghrib prayer in Ramadan and it did not bother you, because you were drawing near to Allah with this hunger. Draw near to Him with more patience.

And I keep returning, whenever I return, to the matters of the family and raising the young in a safe atmosphere inside the homes, because the children are our fruit. And you know of our conditions what you live or hear about. How often is a home in a blazing fire when discord occurs between a man and a woman! And the first victim is the children. So lower your wing, be humble, and yield for Allah's sake. Say to her: I bear everything you do for the sake of these children, seeking reward from the Lord of the worlds.

And patience is a direct cause of your ability to control your tongue, so you do not rush to evil, and there comes from you no obscenity or vulgarity or negative word that you put into people's souls.

And we learned in Ramadan sacrifice: how many of us were in need of a little money or a lot, yet preferred another over himself, so gave charity to a poor person or gave to a needy one or invited to his home those he felt were in need of food? So we learned sacrifice in some form, and it remains for us to learn it in our homes. Sacrifice in your home, and feel that you are sacrificing for Allah, not for the other party who lives with you.

Do I Deserve?

We often look at our wives and husbands as though we do not deserve one another, and I look at her as lesser than me, and as though I do things for her sake. Why? For the most part because we do not count our own negatives. Why do I not ask: do I deserve this lady? You know what is said and what is repeated on people's tongues when Satan takes them in a grip: "Of course I deserve her, would she have hoped to be with someone like me, and I have huge positives." And am I a human being of the perfection that others seek? And are you sure that Allah has accepted you so that you may boast over people with what you have? Here you cannot answer. And if you know you are in a position of acceptance, then beware of what may be of rejection before Allah. It is related of Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq (may Allah be pleased with him), according to what the speaker cited, that he said that if one of his feet were in Paradise he would not feel secure from what could come from his Lord.^[3] And the Prophet ﷺ used to teach us: «اللَّهُمَّ يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ» (O Allah, Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion).^[4] For he knows that trials surge through hearts, and that the servant does not control himself all the time.

And to the extent that you are humble toward the people around you, Allah raises your standing. And if you are at a degree of righteousness, Allah favors you with acceptance among those around you. And the first among whom you should be accepted are the people of your household, so set yourself right and straighten your affair until Allah favors you with the blessing of acceptance.

And the affection that has been achieved among many during Ramadan, we should not spoil with anything. The Prophet ﷺ told us that Satan has despaired of being worshipped by those who pray in the Arabian Peninsula, «وَلَكِنْ فِي التَّحْرِيشِ بَيْنَهُمْ» (but he works through inciting them against one another).^[5] He heats people up against one another: your son did such and such, and the boy hit so-and-so, so we make very large problems based on nothing. And if you tried to summarize the problems that occur among the Arabs especially, except those Allah has had mercy on, in our general behaviors and even at the level of states, you would find something trivial that happened or something not worth mentioning. And I was telling your brothers some nights ago in a lecture on protecting the Muslim family that the vast majority of problems inside the Muslim family have no real problem in them: empty talk, she said, and returned, and sat, and broke a plate. But we build words on top of one another until we reach the stage of divorce! We seek refuge in Allah. And there is the one with an iron memory, who remembers that her husband wore on such and such a day this garment and she did not want him to wear it, so why did he not respect her wish? O madam, may Allah be pleased with you, and so the home turns bad. This affection that you achieved among people in the mosque, where are you from it in your home?

A Farewell Message, and Repentance at the Last Moment

Only a few hours remain of Ramadan. So conclude with good and you will be concluded with good. And send ahead of the end of your month a message of appreciation, reverence, and acknowledgment of the favor and blessing to Allah, glory be to Him, and express it well, so that the month may speak well of you before the Lord of Might. Let Ramadan be a witness for you. And if you did not receive it well, apologize, even in the closing times. Apologize between yourself and your soul, acknowledge shortcoming and error, and repent to Allah.

And repentance is only a moment: in which you feel remorse, acknowledge the sin, and comply with Allah's command, so Allah makes you another creation. A moment we saw in the transformation of ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb from Jāhiliyya to Islam, and in the transformation of the servant between disbelief and faith when he said: there is no god but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. A moment in which you say: I repent to You, my Lord, of my sin and I will not return to it. But it is a moment that means your sincerity and honesty with yourself and your resolve to change, and that you truly desire to please the Lord of the worlds.

And among the most fitting things with which to conclude Ramadan, after renewed repentance and asking Allah for acceptance: that we ask Him to let us reach many years, in which Ramadan is accompanied by more obedience.

And among the best things with which to conclude is an obligatory right of the poor, which is zakāt al-fiṭr. The Prophet ﷺ made it obligatory.^[6] And it includes everyone you support, every person under your responsibility on whose behalf you give zakāt al-fiṭr. And the principle is that it be given as food, and there is no harm in giving a monetary value if that is easier; for we mean the interest of the poor person before the interest of the giver.

Then the ʿĪd prayer, a rite of the rites of Islam that we should not neglect, whatever its time, so where are you from merely attending and bringing your family?

A Day of ʿĪd with No Room for Gloom

And know that the day of ʿĪd is a day of festival with no room for gloom. Do a kindness, please; do not cloud the serenity of the children or the serenity of their mothers. Make it a day in which the members of the household are happy. And we say to the pious Muslim sisters: make that day a day of ʿĪd, and overlook everything that has passed. If you hold something in your heart against your husband or the children, then be mindful of Allah regarding yourself and your family. And make the children feel on it that they have an Islamic ʿĪd, instead of leaving us and going off to other festivals.

We are in an environment with challenges that many of us do not realize, and if we do not understand them, overcome them, and challenge them, our children will slip away from us. Yesterday I went in and there was a group of young people, in the middle of the night, one of them leading and reciting from Sūrat Qāf, and humility showing, as though the angels were settling with their wings on the place. Glory be to Allah, the Most High, the Almighty! So I said: where are these from many of our children, whom we do not know where they have been lost? And if men and mothers raised these, what reward they have with the Lord of Might! And what punishment for the rest because their children fall behind from the places of obedience! And you have witnessed, and we have witnessed, in the ʿIshā' or Tarāwīḥ prayer, young people rushing around the place, breaking what Allah willed them to break, and playing with whatever falls under their feet. Where are their fathers and mothers? They brought them to the mosque and left them. Is this upbringing? Is that what we seek?

The Flame Does Not Go Out

Servants of Allah, do not imagine that the season of acts of obedience ends. Ramadan every year is the beginning of the launching of a flame of faith in the souls of creation, and whoever truly invests it carries it to the next Ramadan. And if we come to the mosque to gain the mercies of the Lord of the worlds, then His mercy does not cease.

We learned from the Prophet ﷺ that Allah stretches out His hand at night so that the wrongdoer of the day may repent, and stretches out His hand by day so that the wrongdoer of the night may repent.^[7] And we learned that Allah calls out in the last third of the night: Is there anyone calling? Is there anyone seeking forgiveness? Is there anyone asking? And each time He gives a promise of response.^[8] And we learned that gatherings of knowledge are covered by mercy, tranquility descends upon them, the angels surround them, and Allah mentions those in them to those with Him.^[9] And we learned that supplication between the adhān and the iqāma is not rejected; so whoever attends and witnesses the adhān and sits in the mosque supplicating to Allah, his supplication is not rejected.^[10] So do we want more than that? The opportunities of acceptance are in our hands, available, abundant, uninterrupted, but it is we who deprive ourselves, or stand between us and Paradise.

And whoever has reached a stage of health, it is not wise for him to squander it, and whoever has reached a stage of wealth, it is not wise for him to squander it. So if you have reached this stage of faith, hold on to your faith, and do not squander anything of it.

O Allah, we ask You by Your mercy, Your pardon, Your forgiveness, Your might, and Your authority to mend our hearts, and to fill our hearts with faith in what is with You and certainty in You. O Allah, accept Ramadan from us; accept our fasting, our prayer, our standing in prayer, our bowing and our prostration, and accept our Qur'an and our recitation, and accept from us what You helped us to do in Your noble month. O Allah, overlook our shortcoming, and have mercy on our weakness. O Allah, prepare for the Ummah of Your Prophet a matter of right guidance in which the people of obedience to You are honored and the people of disobedience to You are guided. O Allah, Your gentleness to Your servants in the whole earth, and Your mercy to Your creation in the whole earth.

--- ^[1]: Editor's documentation: The speaker referred to the prohibition of wishing for death and to the supplication for being kept alive as long as life is better; the origin of the ḥadīth is agreed upon from the ḥadīth of Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him), and the wording kept is the wording of the ḥadīth and not the text of the transcript. ^[2]: Editor's documentation: The ḥadīths "Whoever fasts Ramadan…", "Whoever stands in prayer in Ramadan…", and "Whoever stands in prayer on the Night of Qadr…" are agreed upon from the ḥadīth of Abū Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him); the phrases were fixed from the ḥadīths and not from the wording of the transcript. ^[3]: Editor's documentation: What is related of Abū Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) here is by its meaning as it came from the speaker's tongue; its wording was not given in full nor its source, and no established chain is known for it; so it is among the reports that are related and not among the established. ^[4]: Editor's documentation: Al-Tirmidhī and Aḥmad reported something similar from the ḥadīth of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him). ^[5]: Editor's documentation: Reported by Muslim from the ḥadīth of Jābir (may Allah be pleased with him), with the wording: «إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ قَدْ أَيِسَ أَنْ يَعْبُدَهُ الْمُصَلُّونَ فِي جَزِيرَةِ الْعَرَبِ، وَلَكِنْ فِي التَّحْرِيشِ بَيْنَهُمْ» (Satan has despaired of being worshipped by those who pray in the Arabian Peninsula, but he works through inciting them against one another). ^[6]: Editor's documentation: Agreed upon from the ḥadīth of Ibn ʿUmar (may Allah be pleased with them both). ^[7]: Editor's documentation: Reported by Muslim from the ḥadīth of Abū Mūsā al-Ashʿarī (may Allah be pleased with him). ^[8]: Editor's documentation: Agreed upon from the ḥadīth of Abū Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) on the Divine descent. ^[9]: Editor's documentation: Its origin is in Muslim from the ḥadīth of Abū Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him). ^[10]: Editor's documentation: Abū Dāwūd, al-Tirmidhī, and Aḥmad reported from the ḥadīth of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him): «الدُّعَاءُ لَا يُرَدُّ بَيْنَ الْأَذَانِ وَالْإِقَامَةِ» (Supplication is not rejected between the adhān and the iqāma); and the wording of the transcript is disordered, so the meaning was kept.